Summer 2007 Makeover
Spring is here, and I find myself still hiding under the comfort of my winter coat. I may hate winter but I love wearing sweaters and coats. This summer I want to be different. I'd like to feel comfortable in anything I wear including a bathing suit, so it's diet time. My idea is to work out for half an hour a night and eat healthy. I've discovered the wholefood market. What a wonderful place that is. It's not some cheesy little health food store. It's a full on supermarket with everything you can imagine, but healthy. That and my dusty elliptical machine should do the trick.
There is more to my makeover this spring though. I want to clear the cobwebs from my mind and life. The best way for me to do that is remove the clutter from my life. Go simple... remove the trash. Then I can remove the trash from my mind as well. I'll start by throwing out everything and anything I just don't need. I'm a clutter bug! How can my mind be free of clutter if my life is filled with it. I just have to get past this "save everything" attitude. Save my fat clothes, save that sweater that may come back in style, save that pile of mail that I may need one day, save the book I may want to reread, or the makeup I may find use for. I'm throwing it all out!
Also I am going on Welbutrin.... I am on lexepro now for anxiety. I never really thought I needed it until I was having panic attacks about Quinn. I'd be so scared every time Tony would leave the house with Quinn to go to the store or the park... rather then enjoy my "free" time I'd panic about an accident that might happen. Leaving me stricken with fear the entire time they would be gone. The lexepro worked but it went to far. I stopped caring about things like whether I smoked or not, cleaned or not, dressed well or not, I had a too much of a "fuck it" attitude... So when my mom dimmed me out to my doctor that I was still smoking even with the threat of cancer soon to come, I saw it as a sign. The doctor said to come see him and that it would be in my best interest to try a less intense anti-anxiety pill that is also known to take away that smoking craving. Why didn't I think of this before? Thanks mom, for going behind my back and rating on me :) I feel like I've been called to the principals office. Plus the Lexepro was messing with my memory... taking a wrong turn on a road that I should know VERY well.. or the time I gave Quinn two doses of Antibiotics because I forgot I'd given him one previously that morning. Yeah it's time to get off the lexepro.
And finally my last attempt at my 2007 summer makeover is just to be plan old nicer... I can be very cranky and I find that my home life can spill over into my work life... So I will keep work at work and home at home. And try to exude positive energy by just thinking positive thoughts. that can't be to hard can it?
There is more to my makeover this spring though. I want to clear the cobwebs from my mind and life. The best way for me to do that is remove the clutter from my life. Go simple... remove the trash. Then I can remove the trash from my mind as well. I'll start by throwing out everything and anything I just don't need. I'm a clutter bug! How can my mind be free of clutter if my life is filled with it. I just have to get past this "save everything" attitude. Save my fat clothes, save that sweater that may come back in style, save that pile of mail that I may need one day, save the book I may want to reread, or the makeup I may find use for. I'm throwing it all out!
Also I am going on Welbutrin.... I am on lexepro now for anxiety. I never really thought I needed it until I was having panic attacks about Quinn. I'd be so scared every time Tony would leave the house with Quinn to go to the store or the park... rather then enjoy my "free" time I'd panic about an accident that might happen. Leaving me stricken with fear the entire time they would be gone. The lexepro worked but it went to far. I stopped caring about things like whether I smoked or not, cleaned or not, dressed well or not, I had a too much of a "fuck it" attitude... So when my mom dimmed me out to my doctor that I was still smoking even with the threat of cancer soon to come, I saw it as a sign. The doctor said to come see him and that it would be in my best interest to try a less intense anti-anxiety pill that is also known to take away that smoking craving. Why didn't I think of this before? Thanks mom, for going behind my back and rating on me :) I feel like I've been called to the principals office. Plus the Lexepro was messing with my memory... taking a wrong turn on a road that I should know VERY well.. or the time I gave Quinn two doses of Antibiotics because I forgot I'd given him one previously that morning. Yeah it's time to get off the lexepro.
And finally my last attempt at my 2007 summer makeover is just to be plan old nicer... I can be very cranky and I find that my home life can spill over into my work life... So I will keep work at work and home at home. And try to exude positive energy by just thinking positive thoughts. that can't be to hard can it?
4 Comments:
Wow we need to hang out. Your life sounds like mine. I have stupid panic attacks and the same thoughts when my daughter's not with me. I've learned to "breathe" through my attacks and actually haven't had one in awhile but I can say I know how you feel.
I think declutterizing would help that too. You have to turn negative thoughts into positive.(obviously I've been seeing a doctor huh)
You can do it, Buddy!
PS: Can I have the rest of your Lexepro? ;)
I want to thank you. I really enjoyed reading this. I have only been on meds for a few months now. I do believe changing your lifestyle can change you. Thank you very much. I will start right now with positive thoughts and stop trying to feel like I have to do everything.
You're welcome... I never thought this blog would have any words to inspire. That's pretty cool. Good luck.
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