a day for the records
For lunch today I took GQ to the pediatrician. I think he has a urinary track infection. Instead of eating and reading a good book I held a cup under my sons winky for 15 minutes. Doctors orders. And wouldn't you know he never peed. I undress him for a bath every night and the little squirt (literally) draws on my floor with his pee. I have learned to remove the diaper immediately before entering the water! So at the doctors he's standing on the child table thing just trying to figure out what the hell I was doing. Then he made a game out of it, he'd grab the cup and try to shove his Franks and beans in it. All the while the doctor is just standing there asking me over and over "did he go yet" I wanted to scream "yeah he went, I'm just holding the cup here for the fun of it." So needless to say he never went and was perturbed when I would not let him try and drink from the cup. The doctor gave us a bag to put around Mr. Winky while he sleeps. The only trouble she says it the adhesive is very strong and you'll have to pull it off his "area" YEAH FUCKING RIGHT. There is no way I am pulling strong adhesive of his peter piper... I'd scar him for life! so if your reading this and it's around 8pm you know I am following my naked son around with a cup held under his kadoddles... Stop laughing!
PART TWO: After work I went and had two cavities filled, I told the doctor I had to have laughing gas. They were a little annoyed to have to go get the scubba diving tanks for only one needle, but alas I am a chicken shit. I watched these nim rods try and put together the laughing gas tanks for twenty minutes! I was hearing expressions like "lefty loosy, righty tighy" then "maybe it's empty" fifteen minutes later " do you think it's empty" Good lord and these people are going to drill my teeth open? Any way the moral of this story... laughing gas is the SHIT! I never even felt the needle. The nurse laughed at me because when the doctor stepped out to do something and turned the nitrogen tank down I panicked and said " he will turn this back up before the needle right" she said " Honey you already got the needle"
Oh and during the laughing gas phaze, I was in a sponge bob episode!
Ok well I now have to go prepair the cup. I'll have to break out the mop.
PART TWO: After work I went and had two cavities filled, I told the doctor I had to have laughing gas. They were a little annoyed to have to go get the scubba diving tanks for only one needle, but alas I am a chicken shit. I watched these nim rods try and put together the laughing gas tanks for twenty minutes! I was hearing expressions like "lefty loosy, righty tighy" then "maybe it's empty" fifteen minutes later " do you think it's empty" Good lord and these people are going to drill my teeth open? Any way the moral of this story... laughing gas is the SHIT! I never even felt the needle. The nurse laughed at me because when the doctor stepped out to do something and turned the nitrogen tank down I panicked and said " he will turn this back up before the needle right" she said " Honey you already got the needle"
Oh and during the laughing gas phaze, I was in a sponge bob episode!
Ok well I now have to go prepair the cup. I'll have to break out the mop.
2 Comments:
You really are funny - and yes, I really did laugh out loud - I thought chasing Simon around with a popcorn bowl was funny - imagine what I'm thinking about you and Quinn... :~)
use a big bowl instead of the cup then just transfer it to the little cup.
the vet wanted a sample of simon's pee a couple of weeks ago and it was much easier if i just waited for him to go then threw the bowl underneath to catch some.
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