home is where you hang your hat?
What if you have no hat?
Well the move is complete... I haven't wanted to blog or even talk about it because it's been an emotional ride... Quinn is utterly confused and to tell the truth so am I.
At first it felt like I was visiting this place... and felt very homesick for the sounds of my dogs, cats, neighbors... I am starting to get use to being here but it's not home yet. I'm not sure it ever will be. Something feels incomplete. I mean it is apartment living... it's like I am starting all over again. From the first time you move from your parents house. but now I have this little person depending on me to make all the right choices and moves.
Quinn seems to like the place as a novelty. But when he gets cranky or tired he throws a new level of tantrums that I can only assume are "homesick" tantrums. And he's having a difficult time with leaving one parent to be with another. Which I guess is a hard thing for any broken family.
Lately I have been thinking how long would it take for me to save money for the deposit of a new home? which seems virtually impossible in the state of New Jersey! If I wasn't so ingrained in this state I'd leave in a heartbeat.
The apartment is a good first step, but I need a home. I want a home. privacy... the ability to have my dog and my cats... a back yard... I'll have to do a lot of savings for that, and look into some first time home buyer programs... even then I don't think I could afford the damn taxes around here.
Right now I just need to focus and make sure Quinn is ok and try to get him settled and happy and in the mean time I'll work on making and saving that money.
Ray... still wanna write children's books? I'll illustrate...hopefully... my creative ability seems to be shut down for repairs also. But I'll work on that.
Well the move is complete... I haven't wanted to blog or even talk about it because it's been an emotional ride... Quinn is utterly confused and to tell the truth so am I.
At first it felt like I was visiting this place... and felt very homesick for the sounds of my dogs, cats, neighbors... I am starting to get use to being here but it's not home yet. I'm not sure it ever will be. Something feels incomplete. I mean it is apartment living... it's like I am starting all over again. From the first time you move from your parents house. but now I have this little person depending on me to make all the right choices and moves.
Quinn seems to like the place as a novelty. But when he gets cranky or tired he throws a new level of tantrums that I can only assume are "homesick" tantrums. And he's having a difficult time with leaving one parent to be with another. Which I guess is a hard thing for any broken family.
Lately I have been thinking how long would it take for me to save money for the deposit of a new home? which seems virtually impossible in the state of New Jersey! If I wasn't so ingrained in this state I'd leave in a heartbeat.
The apartment is a good first step, but I need a home. I want a home. privacy... the ability to have my dog and my cats... a back yard... I'll have to do a lot of savings for that, and look into some first time home buyer programs... even then I don't think I could afford the damn taxes around here.
Right now I just need to focus and make sure Quinn is ok and try to get him settled and happy and in the mean time I'll work on making and saving that money.
Ray... still wanna write children's books? I'll illustrate...hopefully... my creative ability seems to be shut down for repairs also. But I'll work on that.
posted by sassafrascal
16 Comments:
Funny you should ask. That email I wrote, saying maybe when you get settled we'll talk about an old idea we had 2 years ago?.....The book! I started writing again and now( On Feb 25 Monday ) I am starting chapter 10. It's about halfway through and I took sound advice from YOU in the construction when you read chapters 1 & 2 theres a lot of editing involved but i've spent the last two years researching as well...( that's the last thing you do is the editing ).....I have contacted about 3 different publishing companies on free literature about publishing but only to now be hounded by them lolol ( anyone reading ya got something I'm down )I'm at a point where illustration HAS TO START COMING so we may need to revisit the idea of meeting once a week to shoot the shit so to speak. In short, the idea is very much alive ( and I think you may actually like the story )
Again, whenever you want we can begin to at least attempt to make it happen ....why not?
In lieu of everything you wrote about- if you remeber no kid wanted to leave home their first time I don't care who you are. Everything you talk about I guess is par for the course so to speak. You have yourself some new digs and a brandnew enviroment which, as you know , will be weird for now, but so long as you remeber your surrounded by some REALLY good friends a wonderful family you'll pull through just keep that at the forefront of your focus ( not to mention don't forget your a strong girl....always have been )
Even on a rainy day the sun still rises!
wow - TEN CHAPTERS - what kind of childrens book are you writing? It's more of a teenagege "young readers" book?
Ok lets plan to get together and hash out what type of charactors and the settings you have in your mind... and how much illustration do you need... every page or every chapter front?
This is exciting! Just what I need.
And so goes the road to happiness.....
is it a yellow brick road?
Or cobblestone?
Please tell me you still have Molly :(
-Nancy
I think I need to borrow some of your courage. Your a stronger woman than me. I'm glad there are women out there like you. You need to do what's right for you and your babe.
A new place is scary at first but once your settled you two will be loving it. Trust me when I moved my lil one from North Carolina back here she hated me for the first few months. It took us a while to adjust so just wait things will get easier and better.
Nancy - Miss Molly is going to be with me shortly, it will cost me 25 a month and a thousand dollar deposit to bring her little butt over here but I will have her as soon as I get the money.. Tony is watching her in the mean time... all though he says she has been hiding in my absence :(
Mel - I'm not sure if it's strength or an innate ability to run... my life seems to be a series of "starting over" ... but it's nice to be called strong - because sometimes changes in life can make one feel very weak. so Thank you.
WHAT? THEY'RE WACKING YOU FOR A GRAND TO HAVE A CAT???
COMMUNISTS!
wise man say "sometimes animal piss and shit on light color carpet"
Dark color one too...
is very bad for rental business
Ivan smells pet
they're gonna get you for the rug no matter what - probably why it's brand new.....the last deposit paid for it....
yeah but I already paid a $600 dollar deposit - this is on top of that.
No matter who says what....it's a racket.......most GROWN CATS know wiser than to piss and poo on carpets ( unless they are pissed off ) but I guess they have to compensate for the " possibility";
either way, it's a shame the rescritions they have in their development....I hope it works out for the best :)
$600 is for the crayon marks Quinn is going to leave on the walls.
One of lifes most difficult things to do is to see things from someone elses point of view.
We often think we do it well but we rarely do.
The grass is always greener on the other side but the dog shit on your shoe stinks the same.
I gotta right this stuff down
Just a little tip for crayon marks that won't "wipe" off. It's called Mr. Clean's magic eraser and yes it works (on white walls anyway...) I've used it many times.
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