It's time

I can't get to the gym anymore so I thought I'll bring the gym to me. I'm buying the Smooth CE 3.2 Elliptical Trainer. This machine has great reviews. I can't wait...

Everyday danger

I was listening to a Dane Cook CD in my car today and he was doing a joke about luring women out of the bars. While it was a funny joke it brought my mind back to some moments in my life that I faced some scary men alone with obvious intent to hurt me. Unfortunately every woman has a few of these stories. It's a sad thing to realize how many bad people and life threatening moments we avoid in our lives. I have three stories I remember that could have ended pretty badly.

1) I was living in Oklahoma with my boyfriend Chris (at the time) we had decided to try and live out there for a while with his friends and family. It was short lived due to our apartment burning down. One day I had to pick up Chris from his job which changed places everyday because he was a tar roofer. He went where ever the job was. I didn't know my way around and got lost all the time. This particular day I was on my way to pick him up I was on a two lane road. There was a lot of traffic and I was lost while sitting bumper to bumper. I felt someone staring at me. I looked to my right and saw a Mexican looking man looking at me from his car in the other lane. When he saw me look at him he gave me a look that chilled me to the bone. It was a look that I understood it's meaning right away. I panicked, I wasn't sure where I was... I knew that one of the side streets was were Chris was waiting but I had no idea which one. I made a rash decision and turned at the first street I saw. This man cut off traffic and almost hit a car to get into my lane and turn behind me. When I turned I noticed it was a coldisac. I was so freakin scared. I tried to speed up and go around the circle and get the hell out of there before he cut me off. I saw a movement out of the corner of my eye and it was Chris standing on the sidewalk waving his arms to get my attention. The man speed by me turned and speed by me again. I had to sit for a moment and compose myself. My rash decision to turn may have been a god sent.

2) I was a cocktail waitress at 18 years old. I was really young and the guys there kinda saw it as their role to watch after me. Which was a good thing. I had worked there for a while and wore very sexy little skirts. Not by choice, the owner Glendi believed that sex sells. She'd always ask me to wear shorter skirts in her Korean accent. "skirt need be shorter, bring men in" hehe ... I laughed it off and did my best with out being a hussy. One night while the bar/club was really busy. A middle aged black man was sitting in the corner alone. I had been serving him drinks all night. Towards the end of the night he told me he could not afford the tip and took off his watch which he claimed was really expensive, and told me to take it. I told him I could not take it but he kept insisting. Eventually I took the watch and walked over to the bartenders and showed them the watch. They were suspicious, as was I, and told me to give it back to him.. So I tried, but he man would not take it. Then he said, I have more money in my car, when the bar closes meet me at my car and give me the watch and then I'll tip you, like collateral. I was immediately aware of his intentions and went again to the guys - they got really pissed off and told me not to leave the bar with out them. Later we all walked out together. The man was sitting there in his car waiting. The guys were surrounding me as we walked over, we gave him his watch and he just left. They watched me leave and followed me partly home.

3) I worked at a pet store in marmora, I was living at home with my mom. I used to walk back and forth to work, it was a few miles and the longest road was all woods. My mother lived next to a house that was bought by the owner of our local diner. He filled the place with his workers from I believe Mexico. There was probably ten of them living in the house and they also would walk the same route to and from work. We never had any issues with them. They were quiet and didn't talk to the neighbors. Except for the road being littered with empty tequila bottles from their walk home at night we rarely new they were there. One night after I closed the store it was dark and I had to walk home. When I got on the stretch of road that was dark and all woods. A man came up behind me. It was one of the men that lived next to us. He tried to say hello and start small talk in his broken English. He then put his arm around me and tried to touch my breast with his hand. I stepped away and said "no"... He continued walking with me and did it again. I jumped back and said "no" again. He looked at me with cold eyes grabbed my breast again and said "YES" I was petrified, and said in my coldest, I'm gonna kick your ass, voice "NO" he walked away. I had to walk behind him at a safe distance until I arrived home. My sister being the little spitfire she is, walked over to their house the next morning walked in and cursed them all out. Never heard from them again.

It's a scary world and so many people have all these close calls with danger. I'm very lucky to have avoided it so far, but some aren't.

The dobberman

Last night I dreamt about my boy, dobbie...

Dobbie died last February, February was also the month he was born ten years earlier. Ten years to the month he died maybe even the day, not sure about that.

In my dream my dogs could talk, sadie (my lab) was trying to tell me that dobbie (my dobberman) was sick. She said there was something leaking from his tummy. I ran over to him. He was lying next to the door, I asked him where he was hurt, he said his stomach. I searched the area around the floor for liquid but there was nothing. I felt his stomach all over looking for wounds, but there still was nothing. I asked him what hurt and what it felt like, he said it felt like his stomach exploded inside. I prepared to take him to the vet. As we were about to leave I asked him if he felt he was ready to go. He said I'll try to get to the vet. I said no I mean do you feel your ready to go to heaven. He stopped for a second and said "no" in a kinda confused I would even ask that way. I said Dobbie you are very sick there is a possibility that they will say it's time.

I don't really remember what he said, I think he just kinda looked at me like he was not ready. And I woke up.

I don't think I am over the death of him yet. He was an angel who seemed to step into my life at the exact moment I needed him and walked out at the exact moment I began to feel OK again. I miss him so much, and I wish I would have taken him on more walks, he loved walks. But I was always to busy or tired.

What a DUCK head!

I bought Quinn a new baby tub. His other seemed like it was getting a bit moldy.

I found this plastic blow up duck tub. Seemed like a good idea at the time. When I got home I opened the little air hole and blew away, ten minutes later after passing out a few times on the floor from blowing this damn duck up which still had an inflated body and head, I realize there are two blow holes and I was only filling the base over and over. DUH, When the color returned to my face I hung the duck in the bathroom by it's suction cup on the back.

I can't blow this thing up every time Quinn needs a bath so I have to leave it hung up in the tub at it's full size. A regular tub would hang fine and take minimal space. But NOOOO I had to have the silly duck with the big ass yellow head that protrudes into half our shower. This thing is a menace. I bend down to shave my legs and it pokes me in the eye I turn around and it slaps me in the stomach. I swear this morning when I went to turn off the water the damn thing goosed me!

When I punched it in the head I think I heard a slight quack.

I'm not sure what I'm gonna do about this other presence in the shower with me. I just don't feel safe. It's like Chuckie the Duckie is tormenting my shower.

I've posted a picture of the menace, don't be fooled by it's sweet little demeanor!

The point of the blog

The reason I started this blog and my HUGE photo gallery is so that Quinn will always be able to look back and know himself at any age. I unfortunately do not remember anything of my childhood. So I have taken it on as a mission to make sure Quinn always will. My plan was to make a scrapbook for every year of his life full of Kodak moments, school projects, mementos, videos and a journal of his milestones from this blog. And maybe a letter from mommy and daddy about his life that year. Yes I know it sounds truly sappy but not remembering anything from my childhood kinda hurts. I feel like I lost someone. People come up to me from highschool and tell me we hung out and it's just a blank to me, My family will tell me about things we did and I feel like an ass for not knowing what the hell they are talking about. I worry the memories will never return. So I need to get more active with this project for Quinn. One day when he's a grown man he'll open up a chest full of scrapbooks for each year of his life and I really think he'll enjoy it.

aLwaYs SiCk !

Yesterday was a pretty scary day for me. I had been having back/shoulder pains the previous day. When I woke up yesterday it was REALLY hurting. I got to work and through out the morning I began having troubles breathing. Everytime I took a breath my shoulder would go into sharp convoltions. It finally dawned on me that it wasn't my back hurting it was my lungs, which surprisingly felt the same as a severe crick in the neck. Hence why I ignored it for so long. It kept getting worse and I could hardly breath so I went tot he doctor and he sent me for chest xrays. The week before I had bronchitis so he thought it might have developed into pneumonia. But the xrays were clear. I had to (embarrassingly) tell the doctor I had stopped taking the antibiotics from the past week because they disappeared on me. I had honestly meant to go to him and get more but I was feeling better except for the damn crick in my neck. He tells me my small case of bronchitis has worsened and was acute which is why I was not having major symptoms like hacking up a lung. Apparently my lungs would not open properly due to an infection on them. He sent me on my way with a shot in my ass, an inhaler and a new prescription for antibiotics. I've been taking advil all day for the pain in my neck but I think it's finally feeling a bit better. Rather then a knife being drilled into my back it feels like a dull pressure. That I can handle.

I really do like this doctor, he's new. He's very thorough and takes his time with talking to me. He's so thorough that I'm there for bronchitis and he's got magnifying goggles right up to the witches wart on my nose. I've had it since I was in the fifth grade and assumed there was nothing I could do about it but he tells me it's actually a cyst. He says in his Indian accent " you have beautiful face, that should not be there, we take off" Yes I like this doctor. A compliment is all it takes:)