i HATE winter!

I can't take it any more.... SICK, SICK and SICK again.

Quinn had a REALLY high fever all last week which turned out to be a viral infection and an ear infection... yes he has tubes... apparently you can still get ear infections with tubes. It was massive. I had no idea it was his ears until I saw him sleeping in his crib and there was brown gunk dripping out of his left ear... Yes that is normal with ear tubes... ear tubes allow your ears to drain and boy did they drain. So he went on anibiotics for a few days and for one beautiful day he was well, content I swear he was happier then I have ever seen him! Then I got the call from daycare again. "quinn has a 104 fever" He can not return until his fever goes down. ARRRRRRRRR What now! A second trip proves to be the same damn ear infection. They say his antibiotic is not working and he needs to go on another. Now I'm not doctor BUT I do believe in questioning them sometimes. We are all to volnerable to their orders... I just can't understand how he got better for one day, his ears stopped dripping gunk and then all the sudden it's his ears again? One day later? Something seems fishy. All day yesterday he had a very high fever and last night he threw up all over me. He's home again today and Tony says he's acting OK. It just seems to easy to say "oh yeah it must be his ears, let's try another antibiotic" He had only been on the first one for two days OF COURSE HIS EARS WILL STILL LOOK INFECTED! I have a gut feeling something else is happening and I don't know what to do.

And on top of that Tony has been deathly sick for about a week and a hallf now and I'm working on my second MAJOR "kick my ass" cold. I'm trying not to call out because I could use every one of my sick days and vacation days in the months of january to march alone! People at work are beginning to step around me and back up when I approach. I look like Rudolf and there is a fuzzy haze around my desk! I can't keep up with all the bugs and illnesses of winter and take care of my home, my child, myself, my career, .... ahhhhhhhhh

I hate winter, I'm moving to california!

tHe mOtHeR iN Me

So this weekend I partied like I was a teenager again. I had a happy hour on Friday and a Mardi Gra Party on Saturday. All though it was nice to visit my single days I'm glad it's over and I'm ready for a slow weekend coming up.

On to the point of this post.... One of the girls wasn't feeling well after a bit too much fun towards the end of the night and I found myself turning right into a mother. I could not help it... I've spent so many nights trying to sooth and comfort Quinn at 2am that when I found myself up at 2am again with someone that was not feeling well, I went into that same mothering place. I just find the change in myself interesting. There is a scene in the movie "Mr. Mom" where the mother who was a stay at home mom had rejoined the corporate world and as she was having dinner with her new boss she began cutting his steak for him because the transition from mother was difficult. As I think back now on this weekend of fun that I had, I realize I am forever changed. You can take the mom out on the town but you can't go backwards and take the mom out of that person even for one night. I will forever be mindful of that little person at home who is waiting for me. And for the moment, 2am means rocking soothing and tending...

At least I'm not the mom who baby talks in public :) That would have been histerical!

Ghosts at work!

It's Friday, I am bored... so I figured I'd scare coworker Kim by popping up as the near sighted cubicle ghost. BOO

Little Relationships

I was at the doctors office with Quinn once... Quinn was done with his appointment. While daddy paid for the visit Quinn and I practiced our new running skills in the outer hallway. A woman was walking up, I did not know her, she stopped and said hello to Quinn. Quinn did not cry and run to mommy like expected he just smiled at her. I must have said something to the woman that implied that they were just meeting. She said "oh no, I know Quinn very well" For some reason that floored me... She did not stop to talk to me, just Quinn. She knew him, he knew her... I had no clue who the hell she was. She just said our kids go to daycare together.

In the last year and a half that Quinn has gone to daycare he has begun these very important little relationships independently from mommy and daddy. All though it's heart breaking when you feel these relationships are intruding on your special bond as mommy and daddy, like when Quinn asks for Nana which means "Miss Donna",I can't help but be proud of his Independence. I mean that is what I want for him, right? Social skills, Independence, confidence...

About two weeks ago Quinn was running around the house saying Abba... Abba.... Abba... Tony and thought "hummm he must like the musical group" :) last week I went to the daycare to get Quinn. We were walking through the big kids play group and he ran to a little girl that he apparently knew and he stopped right in front of her. They looked at each other and she put her arms around his neck and hugged him. When the ENTIRE room of adults said in unison "awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww" she did it again. Quinn leaned into the hug both times so that his check was against hers. I said who is that little girl. They said "abby".

He has a best friend at school... I believe his name is Rashed? I've been teaching Quinn to kiss... I point at my cheek and say give me a kiss. I came in one day to pick him up and leaned down and said "give me a kiss". Quinn turned to Rashid and they gave each other a kiss on the lips... (who taught him that?)

As I leave the daycare everyday it has become common for strange parents I have never met to say randomly "hi Quinn, see ya Quinn, bye Quinn, what's up Quinn" Some of them have gone as far to stop me and tell me how there little girl/boy is great friends with him. And you can see the same astonishment in their eyes about their little ones independent relationship. They want to know who is this child that my daughter likes? who are his parents? And they just watch this little bond. Trying maybe to get into the bond too. Because that was my instinct also... But his little relationships are important so I will sit back and watch, with a mothers eye, and let him hug little girls and kiss little boys. And understand that some people know Quinn, as we walk around town, that I have never met and probably never will. So when I see the next adult wave to Quinn as they walk on by and the little knowing smile on Quinn's face. I'll know it's another little relationship. And that still floors me!

And scares me...

Miss Pat

One of Quinn's first daycare teachers has passed away... Her name to us was Miss Pat. She died I believe on Wednesday from cancer. I didn't know her very well but from what I gather in our short time, she was a neat lady, a no nonesence, straight forward, tell it like it is woman... Often I'd come in to pick up Quinn and see her country dancing while the babies intently watched her from their lunch seats. She will be missed and I'm glad quinn got to spend some of his days with her even for a short while.

View her Obit

5 years

Today is my anniversary... Tony and I have been together for five years.

Just thought I'd say that :)

Ghost hunter trainee

I finally made it... I have applied to South Jersey Ghost Research four or five times over the last three years! I got accepted as a trainee last month and have completed two classes of the three month course.

I know to some of you reading this that training to hunt ghosts seems weird but you would not believe the amount of equipment used!

I used to be a pseudo member of another group in the area but I just didn't feel right with them. This group seems like a great fit. The people are nice, and take what they are doing very, very serious hence the extreme training.

So wish me luck... and mom you'll need to baby sit a few times :)

You can follow my training at http://www.sjgr.org/ go to the "meet the members" page and all the way at the bottom you'll see the trainees names with little ghost icons of what training they have completed.