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Molly & her heavenly chocolates

I wasn't sure how I was going to tell Quinn about the passing of Miss Molly. All I knew was I wanted to be honest and avoid the "we sent her to the farm" talk. The only big lie I'd like to tell Quinn in his childhood is about Santa... Even that kinda bugs me.

He now knows Molly is in heaven, understands she won't come back (No matter how many times he brings up the movie "all dogs go to heaven" and how the dog fell back to earth.) He cried for a little bit, and has now accepted the reality of her death.

Though, I couldn't help myself from telling a little fib to lesson the blow. He now believes that Molly drops him the occasional heart shaped chocolate from heaven to tell him she loves him, misses him and is watching him from above.

There is nothing like seeing his face light up when he finds a hidden heart shaped chocolate from her. He looks up to the ceiling and says "Thank you Molly".

As for me - I'm thankful for a brief few weeks of her being "back to normal" in order to say goodbye. I like to think that was a gift from above. But her death was more tragic then it needed to be and I hope to one day loose those images and just remember our past 15 years.

Amazing what such a little pet can mean to you. I'll miss her terribly.

Snowball Fight

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baby kicks the sequal

I'm finally getting definitive kicks from baby, My stomach muscles are so sore now. If I get up to fast I get sharp pains from the stretch of the muscles which hurt like hell! and I'm having a hard time tying my shoes... But I love this stage... when you're still small enough to move about easily and big enough to feel the little one tumbling around. Soon I will be as big as a house. Ugg. I won't like that stage.

Now that my appetite is back and nausea is gone, I need to get working on a baby safe exercise regimen.

Charity

I took Quinn shopping with me today to help out a little boy that won't have a holly jolly Christmas this year... I'm so proud of this child. I thought this would be a cry fest for every toy that he wanted to keep himself... But he got the message, understood the quest and helped me shop for this little boy with out one single tear, better yet he was happy to do it.

Little Bullies

Tony witnessed Q's first real bully at daycare yesterday... the kid pushed Quinn against a wall and knocked him down :( Quinn just looked at the kid. Tony, who was raging pissed, made the kid apologize. But I wonder how to handle this situation at this age? If Quinn was older I would tell him to give the kid one warning then knock him on his ass if he doesn't stop. I'm assuming that is too early to tell a four year old?

I just didn't expect to encounter kids being that mean at four... I thought at most around eight. Q's a sensitive kid, I can tell already he's a lover not a fighter. The last thing I want is for him not to be able to handle his own. But I desperately don't want to undo that sweet disposition of his. It makes him, him.

For now I told him to tell his teachers... is that effective? Or just encouraging a tattle tail type personality?

Q Logic

Quinn's logic is cracking me up.

Q - "can I go on your elliptical machine"
Me- "no"
Q - "why"
Me - "You're too little, when you're daddy's size you can use it"
Q - "But when daddy sits down I'm his size"

Quinn's whole bunches of cousins

Quinn has all kinds of friends at school... But outside of school it's usually just me and Tony. We don't live that close to family or our friends that have kids for any quick visits, plus I'm just lazy... but I can see it taking a toll on Quinn, no matter how cool we think we are he's bored as hell with us adults. So I got off the couch, showered, drank lots of coffee and started taking him on the rounds to visit all his little "cousins" some technical some not.

While I see it as a cool long overdue visit, Quinn's little world has just lite up, like he just discovered Candy. All day he tries to remember their names... "Mommy, what's the one in the blue shirts name, he's my favorite" ... "What's the big one called" ... "who's daddy is the girl". On and on :)

It's Quite cute. Now that he has seen this world of kids on the weekends, I doubt he'll let me chill on the couch much any more.

Volunteer

It's been almost a year since my lay off. I feel so silly for assuming I'd be able to land a job right away with no problems. Although there are sooo many people qualified to do what I do, I still felt invincible.

So here I am a year later... bored, a bit heavier, well up to date on my TV shows, but mostly feeling I've lost some worth in the world. People may complain about their jobs but you go home feeling accomplished and needed, I've lost that in the last year.

So what better way to get it back then to Volunteer, but I'm not finding much in my area. It's amazing... I thought there would be a ton of opportunities, left and right... but surprisingly not. I've put a few apps in for what I could find and now I just have to wait and see. But I am excited, It's something to look forward to, feel good about, be needed again, rather then sitting on my rump.

Update

LOL, I just found a volunteer opportunity to help prepare food for the penguins and seals at the local aquarium. I would not call that the heart warming opportunity I am looking for but it still sounds like fun!

Baby Name List

Boy Pax (Paxton?) Mason Benjamin Cole Drew Max Reign Roan Eliot Cain (Kain?)

Girl Mia Sydney Anna Emily Emma Lillian (lily) Josie Willow Sophia Violet

Oy...

Could things get any more complicated... (to the powers that be, that was not a challenge).

I'm trying to keep some faith here, honestly I am...

Kitty Ti needs a new home...

I moved to an apartment and could not bring my outside cat Ti with me two years ago... Ti has been staying with my EX who is now downsizing to an apartment with me and will not be able to accommodate him. He is a beautiful Gray and white Tom cat, tall and lanky. He has a Tom cat attitude until you pick him up then he turns into a purring house cat. He mostly likes to stay out back on the porch but comes in once in a while to take a nap on the couch when he's cold. He gets along with my dog and has been seen on occasion sleeping with her.

I have tried very hard to make this kitty an indoor cat. When he was given to me seven years ago he was already use to the outside... he stayed in my home for a few weeks then struggled to be outside. He's not comfortable indoors for long periods of time and it shows. My hope is to find a caring home for him with lots of outdoor space to roam... like a farm or wooded lot. He does not chase or eat mice that I know of. He's fed morning and night and relies on that daily. So if you're looking for a mouser cat on a farm I don't think he'd be the right choice.

I'm not in a huge rush right now, as we have until March but I would like to start the process of finding the right home for him as cats are not easy to find homes for... There is a small chance we may be able to keep him but it's not looking good.

If you have room in your heart and on your land please email me. sassafrascal@gmail.com

ABC

Quinn is learning to write! I started working with him at home here and there. And today he says to me "I did a good job writing my A at school but it was HARD!"

This little moment makes me just a tiny bit sad - I'm losing baby Quinn.

Oh what to do ...

I've fallen in love with Peeka, but wonder if keeping her would be selfish on my part. She needs a home with people that are with her most of the day, a yard to play in, stability. None of this I can offer her. Yet I want her...

I found a wonderful family that I "should" hand her over to immediately... They are home all day, The mom has fostered many dogs and is an absolute dog lover, she has a special needs child that has fallen for Peeka's photo and the thought of having her - I can see the bond they would form in my head already.

And all though I know it's the right thing to do - I just can't hand over the leash yet. Oy.

If I wait to long I will lose the chance for her to be with this family.

UPDATE...

Peeka has found a wonderful home. Recently I found out I am pregnant and all though I hate when people give up their pets because of a baby I had to make that decision... She is a snappy dog and HATES my black lab Sadie who will be moving back in with me shortly. All though I cried while giving her to her new family I realize I made the right decision and handed her to her true new family that will treat her like the queen she is.

Here is her new family.