Quinn and I are watching a movie (land before time) and eating Goldfish... I can't stand popcorn!
Anyway I have two piles on a paper towel between the two of us... His pile and my pile... (those are his rules not mine)... he says to me "mommy this is your pile and this is mine"
So, I'm munching away on my pile of goldfish watching away... when from the corner of my eye I see Quinn reaching into my pile and adding more to his pile... Of course I made a big show of it pretending to catch him in the act... saying "HEY THAT'S MY PILE" he just smiled like he did nothing wrong... we went through this process about three times... But in his defence sometimes he would take one from his pile and say "here mommy" and hand it to me... then proceed to "sneak" some from my pile again to add to his...
I guess his guilty conscience caught up with him... eventually he said "mommy?" I turned to him and he pushed all his goldfish into my pile and said "here mommy, you can have them" with a sweet little expression he has learned to use to get his way...
I think he ultimately wants to share... but if he can get away with not sharing behind my back ... he certainly will.
It's absolutely amazing how many times Tom was fulled by Jerry... how does a mouse hold three feathers and pass as a baby chicken to a cat? Just how many lives does a cat have in this cartoon?
Quinn is beginning to wake up from his dreams or his version of nightmares... I can't tell which yet. Monday he woke up at 3am confused and sobbing. When I went to his room, he was just sitting in his bed looking soooo confused and he kept repeating "don't want to go to the wee, no wee" and rubbing his eyes. "wee" is what he calls a playground, it's named after the sound he makes while going down the slide. I told him he didn't have to go, so he laid down a went to sleep.
Tony called me early this morning and asked if I was OK... he said Quinn woke up that morning from a dream crying and yelling "mommy's gone, mommy's gone". He was pretty upset... He's to little to understand the concept of a dream or a nightmare. So I tried to say hi to him on the phone to show him that his dream was not real... but in typical three year old fashion ... he must have forgotten his worries because he said "hi" then promptly hung up on me.
I've been trying to teach Quinn the difference between my house and Tony's... because recently he has begun saying " mommy I want to go home" all though that kind of tugs at my heart strings... I realize to him that is the only place he knows as home... He has a yard there and a dog. So he misses it... But I still want him to understand he has two homes, one with mommy and one with daddy.. I've been saying this in many ways... like: daddy's house vrs Mommy's house, Apartment vrs house, Sadies house "his dog" vrs Molly's house "his cat" ... and each time I tell him "they are both yours, you have two houses".
Tony came by to pick him up today and we went through the explanation of houses again... finally he says " I have two houses"... YES, HE GET'S IT... so I'm kissing him goodbye, as he leaves he waves to me and says "I go to da BIG house" ... Tony cracks up laughing... I realize... why didn't I explain it to him THAT way. Smart cookie he is! (aside from the jail house reference, that would not be smart.. that would be scary :-) )
I've been having sleeping problems because I think I am allergic to my cat... (a new thing that I am trying to ignore and pretend is not happening...) But it's affecting my sleep badly... The night before last I only slept two solid hours!
So I got myself some clariton ... I woke up last night twice with the allergy tickle in my throat. The last time it happened I reached over to my night table and got my bottled water .... took a sip.... I then proceeded to fall asleep wtih the bottle still in my hand ... my hand slowley tilted while drifting back to sleep... and spilled the water all over me and my bed... Even in my delirious state I was laughing at myself... I've never woken up so fast before!
I'm loving that fact that I can now communicate with Quinn... we can have full on conversations... all though sometimes it feels like we're speaking some made up secret language.
a few weeks ago I tried to explain that my name was Sharon... I pointed to myself and said "I'm Sharon" he looks at me ... laughs and says "you mommy" I say "well yes, I am mommy but I am also Sharon" ... this did not go to well... he got very upset and said " NO you mommy.... you MOMMYYYYYYYYYYY " Ok OK I let that go.
A few days ago I thought I would explain his name to him... so he's not blindsided one day with the realization that his real name is not Quinn... so again I point to him and say "you're Gabriel" he giggles and says "I not Jabial, I Kinn"... "yes you are Quinn but you are Gabriel Quinn" ... now he's pissed.... "NOOOOOOOOOO... I KINN I KINN... NO JABIAL!" ... I say "ok baby you're Quinn"
after a few minutes had passed by he walks over to me... looks me square in the eye with a very concerned face and says "mommy, I'm Quinn"
It had not dawned on me that he thought I would forget his name... This poor kid now believes that I forgot who I was and who he was... Calling myself Sharon and him Gabriel... so now he wants to remind me... :) ...
all though he can't be too upset since a while later he says "mommy wheres Jabial" and cracks up laughing... I do believe that was a joke at me expense!
So this diet thing is not going as planned... I'm exercising... eating some what well, at times... and nothing is happening on the scale. We had a health thing at work last week.. they had a chart for age and weight... It told me I was obese... OBESE! huh? what the hell... I don't feel obese... I know I'm not "skinny" but damn that floored me. I don't agree with the new standards of what obese is... but I still don't like falling in that category... so I'm going to get out of it. Some how, some way! We started a competition at work... one of us is doing weight watchers, the other is calorie counting and I am going to start following an eating plan layed out by a nutritionist... we have one month to see which plan works best... the chart is drawn... starting weights recorded... hands shook.
this morning Quinn and I are laying on my bed... Ok well I was laying... he was doing flips... and pretending I was a very large mountain he had to climb. During one of his breaks he layed right next to me and stared at the ceiling... I've seen him do this before... he'll put his hand up and pretend to pick an apple from some imaginary place... then he'll show it to me and say " lookkkk, I got it, an apple" This morning as he stared off at the ceiling I waited for the apple... he said " look mommy a NAKE" ('snake' in Quinn's language)... I hate snakes they scare the SHIT out of me... so of course I said "WHERE!!!" he pointed to the popcorn ceiling and said "THERE!!!" ... a few seconds goes by then he insists the snake is on him... so I pretend to shew it away... "all better he's gone" I say... Quinn says "yeah all better, nake in time out"
I've heard of imaginary friends but a snake? Apples? is this a religious reference? Will he see the virgin mary in his waffles this morning...
and no the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, HA.. got ya before you could say it!
Quinn seems to have picked up the letter K... he tries so hard to end his words with a big KKKKK... it doesn't seem to matter what the word is... there is always a KKK at the end. We have a lollipop everyday after school when he sees it he yells ... "lollipoKKK" .... when he climbs in his box, (he sits in a box, not sure why)"my BoKKKK, My BoKKKK..." he says
I worry sometimes that Quinn is not up to speed enough with his speech... But at the same time it's so damn cute that I will miss these days when he looses the baby talk... doctors say it could be the constant fluid in his ears that muffle the sounds for him, which makes it harder for him to annunciate. If he doesn't get better at some point we may take him to a speech therapist to catch him up to speed... or so the doctors tell me... but for now... the KKKK is a good sign.
My absolutely amazing two year old son sent me flowers at work today for mothers day... apparently he picked them out all by himself, signed the card AND payed for them... (he must have stolen the money from my purse). Sweet kid isn't he?
I have a pretty good idea who to thank... this makes up for stealing my Chapstick!
The great summer 2008 weight loss project is on... I'm always inspired in the summer. last summer I dropped 20 pounds, I'm not sure where I got my focus from. I think I was upset that I was still carrying baby weight after two YEARS!!! Is it still baby weight at that point or the amount of yummy food I was shoveling in? I was on a mission though and I did not waver.... till the cold set in... I added ten pounds back to hibernate... to keep me warm during those long chilly nights.. (yeah that's it).
I'm trying to find that focus I had last year but it's not coming as easily...the pizza still calls with it's tempting scents and greasy cheese, torturing me. I fear I am content... *sigh* .... but alas I have a pool now, the time has come... bathing suits... water ... flip flops... shorts...skirts...strappy sandals...beach... tank tops... ahhhhhhh. I have to let go of my protective sweater that I cling to like a baby and it's blankie :(
My goal this year is 15 pounds... a little late starting but that means I have to push harder... I'll be dusting off the elliptical machine and removing the clothes hangers... uggg.. the thought is making me tired... I smell pizza.
I took for granted how quite it can be in a suburban home during the summer months... I use to leave my windows open and listen to the birds chirp while napping in the afternoon... the sounds at my apartment are going to take some time to get used to... the lady downstairs yelling at her kids, the air conditioning unit right outside me window that sounds like a jet plane taking off... the set of unruly boys who party every Friday night across the way and apparently enjoy having screaming contest. The doors that slam shut every ten minutes or so... the lady who calls her son in at 9pm every night by yelling his name from her window for about 20 minutes... the family that BBQ's every night on there patio... Oh the sweet life, where are the birds?
Our little dog Chica left us, she got very sick... After many test and a couple days of IV treatment we ruled out cancer. Tony and I assumed it was cancer because she had a growth on her. Test showed that the growth was just fatty tissue and Xrays showed that there was an object got lodged in the area that the stomach empties. the doctor said it may have been metallic because of the Xrays... We believe now that it was aluminum foil she got into. We had the option to do surgery, the total for everything would have been 2300.00. After long discussions and many tears we decided to go ahead with the surgery. Had it been something like cancer I would have let her go... but I could not justify her dying over aluminum foil... I still can't... but the doctors said there might have been to much damage to her insides and was not sure she would pull through, apparently she as in a lot of pain and they were giving her morphine in her IV... knowing all this and having only a few hours to decide her fate was not easy.... but in the end we decided to let her go... she was about 12 years old. And all though very healthy and active... this took so much out of her.
it was hard to let her go when we had reserved ourselves to the surgery. I still can't come to terms with it... but I pray she is happy where ever she is and she's playing with Dobbie in Doggie heaven.
